Footballer sent off for farting too loud

A SWEDISH footballer was sent off for
“unsportsmanlike behaviour” because he farted
too loudly.

Adam Lindin Ljungkvist received a second
bookable offence for a particularly putrid parp
during the latter stages of his side Pershagen
SK’s game against Jarna SK’s reserves in
Sweden’s ninth tier.
The smelly star was left in disbelief when referee
Dany Kako gave him his marching orders for
blowing off – and assumed the official must
have thought he had broken wind into his hand
and hurtled the ghastly gas in his direction.
Ljungkvist told Swedish newspaper Lanstidningen
Sodertalje: “I needed to fart, I had a bad
stomach. So I just farted. Then I received a
yellow card and then a red.
“I was shocked, it’s the strangest thing I have
ever experienced on a football field.
“I asked the referee: ‘What, you can’t fart on the
field?’, he replied: ‘No’.
“He may have thought that I farted in my hand
and threw it towards him, but he didn’t say.”
Jarna SK’s reserves striker Kristoffer Linde
admitted he couldn’t believe it when he heard
Ljungkvist let one go from the other side of the
pitch.
He said: “I was standing a good distance away
but I heard the fart loud and clear. It was the
strangest thing I’ve seen on the field, and I have
been playing football since I was eight years
old.”
Referee Kako later confirmed that he had
dismissed the stinking Swede for farting on the
pitch, claiming the fetid footballer did it “on
purpose”.
He explained: “I perceive that it is a provocation
against another player. He did it on purpose and
it was inappropriate behaviour. Therefore, he
received a yellow card.”
Amazingly, the ref admitted it wasn’t the most
absurd yellow card he has ever dished out in his
career.
He said: “Yes. No one must get a yellow card for
farting on the field. Once there was a player who
stood and peed next to the pitch. That was also
a yellow card.”
It’s not the first time a player has disgraced
himself with his toilet antics on the pitch.
Former England striker Gary Lineker once
accidentally followed through at the 1990 World
Cup when the Three Lions took on the Republic
of Ireland, and also blamed a bad stomach.